I got fired. There……I’ve said it.
It was pre-COVID-19.
It was the ultimate rejection and one that was particularly stinging because it came as a result of my speaking up. I was expected to overlook some very questionable business conflicts. I didn’t……and I couldn’t. So, when the annual 4th quarter people purge occurred, my name was on the list.
It was a humbling and humiliating experience.
I had failed. And over the ensuing weeks and months, the ways in which I had previously defined myself as a successful, professional woman slowly eroded. I was no longer my job title. I was no longer a top performer, subject matter expert, trusted advisor, business partner or…….colleague.
Coinciding with my being fired, my elderly parents experienced a series of health crises, opening the door for me to become a full-time caretaker. Although eldercare is a tough assignment, I was happy to do it.
But I also got stuck.
Because it was easier to hide in the shadows of daily doctor’s appointments, hospital stays, filling medication trays and being a patient advocate than to confront the fact that I was afraid of failing again.
Fired. Fear. Failure. These feelings dominated my dominated my thoughts and my actions.
Until they didn’t.
Until I did the hard work to understand the genesis of my fear and put a plan in place to conquer it.
Being fired is not for the faint of heart.
With it comes the trifecta of uncertainty, loss of status, and loss of control.
Take these three things and tie them with the bow of ‘unfairness’ and the parting gift I gave myself was shame triggered by the loss of my professional identify, my cherished community of colleagues and my self-confidence.
……Not to mention the hit to my belief system that says ‘doing the right thing is hard; do it anyway.’
I was now the unwelcome outsider.
Leveraging my study of neuroscience, I learned to reframe, reappraise, and rewire my brain.
Was there new meaning I could find in this situation?
What perspective could I take to move myself out of fear?
What would my re-imagined future look like, and how would it feel?
What’s my plan and the timeline? What actions could I take immediately to put them into motion?
I learned to create new thinking and new habits. Through these new habits came new behaviors…… all of which led me to a renewed vocation and a new definition of success.
And my new favorite word. . . . . FREEDOM.
My mission is to end suffering in the workplace.
It’s all about the brain.
Every Brain Needs a Coach
Are You In?